wrong week to be in

it was a bad start to a new week.everything that could possibly went wrong ACTUALLY went wrong.

i started the week arguing and nit-picking with the new project manager. i seriously think both of us have attitude problems. every meeting was like a confrontation.

apart from that, relationships with people around me actually deteriorated.  though i feel sorry for those who may be at the receiving end of the stick, i really did not know where did all the anger and frustrations manifested from.  it has gotten to a point that i just simply wanted to neglect everything - in short, withdraw and disappear.  i hope i didn't affect anyone.

weekend is equally tired.  the earliest time i managed to reach home and sleep was like 4+ am.  attempted to look for a suitable present for a good friend cum colleague on friday evening but to no avail. initial thought was to get a leather organizer.  i ended up watching a midnight show - grown up.

went out to chill with a group of friends on saturday night.  caught another midnight movie - heartbreaker, an interesting french movie where the main casts break up couples for a living.  had a great time that night.

i gotta go town to meet a friend to continue my hunt for the gift.  this time, based on feedback and some analysis, the list of items included a pair of cuff link, leather belt, laptop bag, wallet.  if my friend is gonna be late, it's gonna be another wasted trip.

i really hope next week will be a much better and enjoyable week. till then, i need to decide on how best to execute my plan to either do a sabotage or salvation.

love the way you lie

A friend sent me this song, and after listening to this song for a few times, find it pretty addictive and decided to share it here.

office survival skills

I was browsing sgforums the other and came across this interesting post.  Just wanna share it here.

Office survival skills

#1 - Gossip about others outside the circle of friends <-- neutral

#2 - Be a busybody to get the latest news to keep yourself in the loop and stay informed <-- been trying to do that

#3 - Don't gossip or confront a person who is the subject in the gossip incase things turns ugly <-- agree wholeheartedly

#4 - Office colleagues as only good for chatting, lunch/dinner buddies else help you to find or recommend new jobs only <-- i think this depends

#5 - Be on good terms with the colleagues to have people watch your back while you return the favor too. <-- definitely agree

#6 - If you don't like gossip, whatever you listen, just take it with a pitch of salt and ignore it <-- trying to master this

#7 - Never get involved with bgr in office else your job performance will be affected <-- may be true

#8 - Don't appear to be overly hardworking in the office posing as a threat to other colleagues which reveals the fact that they are slacking..do it discreetly without them seeing you as a threat giving them reasons to backstab you to safe-keep their own employment. <-- definitely!

#9 - Never be the Mr Nice Guy else you will find yourself with more workload than others. <-- of course.

#10 - Don't join a conflict or get dragged into a conflict..stay clear of such dangerous situations if possible <-- the art of tai-ji

#11 - Don't tell/talk/discuss your personal life experiences with your colleagues if you want to stay gossip free <-- depends on the kind of colleagues la

#12 - If employer/fellow collegues wants you to go for group outing/Clubbing to de-stress, never ever get yourself in a drunk akward situation else you will see yourself losing the respect and be the stared at in the office the new few days and eventually be avoided at any events. <-- neutral

Hope the above tips will help you in a smooth journey in surviving office politics and a happy work experience ahead.

"medical leave"

i took my medical leave today, partly because i need to prepare for my japanese exam this evening, and also partly because i dun wish to return to office and see my colleagues.  as matter of fact, i loath every morning where i have to wake up early to literally drag myself to the office and put on a mask, like everybody else.

i woke up late in the morning to visit the doctor, studied my japanese language, which were pretty easy in my opinion, and felt extremely bored.  decided to finally hit the gym nearby, starting off with the thread mill.  i felt so refreshed after the whole gym session.

attended my make-up japanese lessons. kind of envy this class - active, chatty, united, a big difference from my current class. the exam was a breeze.

while on the mrt, i felt very sianz that i have to return to work the following day. i am absolutely clueless as to what to do next. like i mentioned before, i know the outcomes and do not wish to trod the dreaded path again.  a friend told me that i should learn to trust people, but i simply cannot take the huge leap of faith. either way the friendships will eventually dissolve.

i was scrolling my msn list, and realized that i had let go of a few really good friends. i sort of miss them, but what's done cannot be undone.  it is disheartening that i may have to repeat this process again.

i feel trapped... i need an escape. god, why do YOU always give me something only to take it all back later?

my reluctant np gathering

i'm extremely reluctant to attend a big-scale gathering by alpha center, ngee ann polytechnic yesterday night.  if not for the insistence of a long time friend and classmate, i'd rather give this event a miss.

i went to orchard to accompany my cousin to find her phone.i was almost tempted to change my phone on the spot, and fortunately for me they ran out of stock, and thus i ended up not making any purchases.

unenthusiastically i made my way down to clementi and took the bus to np. wah, i got lost trying to find the bloody block 53.  there were renovations everywhere.it took me 40 minutes to reach the destination.

didn't really mingle around with the people.ended up chatting with my previous lecturer/project supervisor.my ex-roommate came up to me and we chatted for a while and that's about it. the event is a little boring for me, but i guess for most people, it's quite enjoyable.

anyway,the dinner's ok, but many of the attendees, including myself, were hit by food poisoning.a few of my friends even went to a&e like 4am.fortunately for me, i was only inflicted with diarrhea.

thanks to the mass food poisoning, my friend and i couldn't make it to the youth olympic games this morning.

the first farewell

went for a great buffet dinner at himawari, alexandra road after work to bid farewell to one of our beloved project manager.

the dinner was great, the companions were great too! we had a fun time with all the jokes and dramas and so on. ah, how time flies! when we look at our watches it was already 10+.  as with all good times which eventually comes to an end, we parted our ways.  i wish my project manager all the best in her future endeavors.

i was surprised that i was offered a lift back home, since, well, i stayed at the northern part of the island and my friend is like staying at the south and was supposed to be meeting a friend at somewhere central.  anyway, we didn't chat much for the journey, to avoid distraction.

actually, it's a bit unusual as i'm usually find it awkward being enveloped by silence when friends are around, but i'm pretty comfortable this time round. anyway thank you my friend, really appreciate the effort and trouble, as cte is known for its extremely heavy traffic during friday night, and coincidentally it so happened that all my ez-link cards were low in value!

there'll be at least one more farewell soon.  i'm starting to get a little anxious here... sad.

maybe another goodbye

recently i chanced upon something fishy going on with the people around me.  i realized that it is not that hard to spot that someone has something up their sleeves and it takes just a little more effort to uncover the motives.

well, this time there's nothing really special.  it's just history repeating itself.  this story has almost been repeating itself every year since 2004.  same plot, same storyline, just different characters.  it's starting to bore me.

i dare say i can easily predict the outcomes this time.  everything is within predictable parameters.  i do not need to finish this walk to prove my point.  i have decided to walk at my own pace, and slowly drift apart, maybe eventually be phased out just to become another irritating character deeply buried and forgotten in someone else's not so distant past.

well, this eventuality is no stranger to me.  maybe this is the most diplomatic solution i know of, or it could be just  my character flaw that prevents me from "playing dumb" without being awfully honest to the point of being blunt. i gotta learn to let go of some things at ease to prevent disappointment.

anyway, my stand is firm: what is yours will be yours eventually, no matter what you do.  some (in my case, probably most) things are just not meant to be. period.

it's time to move on, once again...

facebook insight

while browsing through my fb profile a while ago, i came across a newly uploaded album on a recent trip to taiwan by my secondary school friends.

what impresses me is that 10 years after graduation, their friendship bonds are still admirably strong.  there were new members included, along with their spouses and so on. i had grown distant with them after graduation.  well, i was never part of the close-knitted group and will never be.

i wish them an enduring friendship =)

"do you have plan for your future?"

recently, i managed to keep in touch with a project manager who has left the company for more than one year.  we used to be pretty close, and both of us pretty much share quite a fair bit of our lives with each other.

catching up with her has set my mind thinking again.  the conversation goes something like this:

pm:	do you have plan for your future?
pm:	halo friend, you have a very valuable cert - NTU graduate.
pm:	won't waste it. it is a waste if you don't fully utilize it, few years later you might find out that you are far behind your friends who graduate together with you
me:	not really much of a plan.i think i am lagging a little behind le.
pm:	you are now only a little behind. just wait another 2 years. you will see more "difference" in it.

the last statement is enough to get my sluggish brain realized that i am lagging far behind my peers in terms of pay and career advancement.  i need to do something about this sticky situation.

everybody is changing

seems like people around me are now changing, be it for good or worse. i had my first counselling session with my cousin earlier on and did some catching up.

apparently my cousin is quite socially-inadequate to deal with the working world, and so in the end i had to do plenty of analysis for her.  i'm amazed by my own profiling capabilities, and accurately pinpointed her on her darn obvious mistakes.

however, she rekindled my hope to generate passive income for the while.  i should stop relying completely on my current pay package, which is insufficient by the way.  however, motivating friends are no longer there in my life. i need to depend on myself!

surprisingly, throughout the whole talk, my cousin didn't once lose her temper.  previously, she will flare up as soon as her ego is attacked and will never acknowledge her shortcomings.  she has changed, for the better.  she is more objective now.

anyway, change is the constant thing in life.  i hope that every one of my friends are changing for the better.

insensitivity.

recently i think i have become rather irritatingly insensitive.  i have been incessantly teasing a few friends of mine.

after re-evaluating the situation, i think it's time to stop all these so as to avoid embarrassment for all parties involved.

the cuff link connection

i had a prearranged rendezvous with 2 friends to do a short shopping spree to hunt for an extra pair of cuff link yesterday afternoon as i had gotten some new french cuff shirts recently.  

it was an interesting meet-up, and after dinner 1 of them left.  we went for a drink and engaged in a "interesting" topic.  we had pretty good laughs about a game we conjured up, where we were tantalizing each other in order to fish out the required information.  i think the 2 of us were pretty boisterous in the cafe.  

later into the night, i suggested chilling out at some drinking pubs. my friend, surprisingly complied, despite the fact that he is used to going to bed early.

over our beer pints, we started candid exchanges of opinions on a variety of matters.  perhaps, due to the  alcohol-induced relaxing mood, we, the 2 introverts, started opening up ourselves to each other and chatted till almost 3am! i think both of us had had a good time, though i'm sorry about the location of the pub as it brought back unpleasant memories for my friend.

i had not done anything crazy like this for a long while.  i'm glad for this meet-up tonight, and from our conversations i believed that we shared more sentiments and perspectives in common, or so it seems. though we knew each other for like over 2 years, we were nothing more than just mere acquaintances until recently.

i wonder if such event will ever happen again.  hopefully our serendipitous friendship can take off from here. 

food for thought

while walking home from the mrt station earlier on, again some thoughts crossed my mind.  i was wondering what should i do over the long weekend to commemorate singapore's 45th independence day.

then, i realized i've changed quite a fair bit. to quickly summarize, i am now leading a much more individualistic lifestyle than before.  i no longer actively seek out the company of my friends, being fearful that i am being overly-intrusive into their personal lives and space.

i have even lesser faith in other people.  past disheartening experiences as recent as the last one to two years are still fresh on my mind.  i have been back-stabbed and shortchanged.  i had been made to feel like i am a persona-non-grata in most social gatherings.  i wondered and still wonder if i had done anything inappropriate.

fearful that history may repeat itself, i contemplated a solution, and began observing and talking to people around me. data from my observations, to my amazement, actually supports my understanding of the ever-complicated horoscope signs.

armed with a new ability to quickly profile a person on-the-fly, i have become extremely fastidious in making friends.  no longer will i relegate myself to the position of being subjected to the whims and fancies of others, i decided to be the chooser, or the player.  i learnt to maintain an appropriate distance for most people and manage them.

at the same time, my interests and priorities in life has changed.  in the process of moving on with my life, the sour grapes started rearing their ugly heads, trying to anchor you so that you cannot move ahead in life, just like them.  you are not supposed to upgrade your fashion sense, cultivate your appreciation on the finer things in life, just like them, but just blow money on food, food and more lousy food, just like a glutton.  to (peasant) friends like these, please go and get yourself a life, you loser!

sometimes i really wonder, would life better for me if i just maintain a distance from everyone else?  the social animal within me complains.

truth about management

sadly, many supervisors think that "management" just means bossing people around. few realized that there an art to management. fewer still work to develop that art.

Source: Click here.

At the end of the day, the management is puzzled on why things turn out the way they are.

pesky insurance agent "friend"

i am extremely irritated with a "friend" of mine recently. he has been ringing me ceaselessly for the past one week or so from many different phone numbers except his hand phone to try to get me to buy some insurance from him at different hours of the day.

honestly, i dislike this kind of people. after not keeping in touch for the longest time, the first thing on their mind is to get you to buy insurance from them.

in the case of my friend, it's even more absurd. i shall neither work around your schedule nor go to you at your preferred (inconvenient) meet-up place. on top of that, just because you switch insurance company doesn't mean that my insurance policies switch with you.

bombarding me with calls and sms-es simply won't work. i shall exercise my right to refuse to answer any calls (especially from unknown numbers) or reply any sms-es from this so-called "friend".

great sunday nite out

i had planned to just stay at home over the weekend. however, i got extremely bored and thus came up with an ad-hoc plan to arrange for a quick meet-up with a friend.

we settled on having a sumptuous japanese buffet at himawari, alexander road, away from the crowds within the city. the buffet was extremely great, mouth-watering sashimi sliced to perfection with a generous serving of sukiyaki.

halfway along the meal, another friend joined us. he came pretty late, and we felt kind of bad for making the staff work overtime to serve us.

after the meal, probably because we had not meet for quite a while, we decided not to head home despite the fact that we had to report for work the next morning. we headed to the prata house at upper thomson.

the service at prata house is still as bad. both of my friends are arguing over the efficiency of how the police force operates as well as the legal system. what an interesting topic in the dead of night!!

we parted ways at 3am. i think i am so gonna take mc the next day.

despite initial resentments against this friend when i first know him, as he never fail to rub me the wrong way then, tonight, i realized that both of us can actually click very well. we do share a couple of similarities, and the funny thing is, we had been backing each other up throughout our conversations for the entire night.

i am glad that within these few weeks, i managed to re-connect with 2 friends whom i thought was lost for good. for now, i am contentedly blessed.

the ignorant teacher

sometimes i really cannot stand my japanese language teacher. for your info, i have been dutifully attending japanese language lessons for the past 8 months at bunka language school at orchard. i'm now at intermediate 3 level.

i have never met such a long-winded and ignorant guy before. although some of his comparisons between singapore and japan were valid, the rest of his arguments or comparisons were weak and reflected his lack of knowledge and inquisition about singapore, or any other general matters.

for instance, he glorified the role of teachers in society and belittled all other professions. so funny! i have never find the teaching profession that respectable, and an ignorant teacher like him spouting nonsense only reinforces my impression that teachers live in seclusion, alienated from mainstream society.

for goodness sake, he cannot even match a tie and shirt properly. all he knows about are burberry ties. how pitiful!

anyway, i still enjoy learning the japanese language despite all these =).

2 addictive songs

recently, 2 addictive songs has been repeatedly playing at the back of my mind. the lyrics are very meaningful and brought back both fond and unpleasant memories from the past.

here goes the 2 songs: