dilemma

this will probably be the last time i blog about such things. of all people, i was tasked to go down to client's site with this particular colleague whom i thought i lost.  it's always like this.  each time when we grew distant we ended up having common projects.  it's the same 2 years back and it's the same now.

the trip down to the client site was awkward. i kept my silence throughout and in the end he decided to break the ice and made some small talk every now and then.  it continued like this throughout the whole site visit - chatted for a short while followed by long pauses.  the funny thing was my client actually thought i had tendered in my resignation letter and was handing over the project to another colleague.

while i am grateful and appreciative of all the things that this colleague of mine had done for the past week, somehow i am still relatively stoic. one fine morning when i reached the office i found an item on my desk - something which i requested for some time ago, and he simply refused to accept payment for it.  hell, the bloody thing is not cheap! apart from thanks, i really dunno what else to say.  should i then buy him an expensive birthday present in return? i have no idea.

someone once told me to be more gracious towards others, but my stand is that the intangibles once lost takes effort to recover, and i'm a lazy person sometimes. unexpectedly, despite all the shit, it seems like he's still trying to stick around.  most people would simply walk off.

at the way things are going, it is just going to get more and more difficult for me to simply walk away. given that there could be ample opportunities as project partners, the ball is now in my court.  maybe i should just listen to my head for once.