"medical leave"

i took my medical leave today, partly because i need to prepare for my japanese exam this evening, and also partly because i dun wish to return to office and see my colleagues.  as matter of fact, i loath every morning where i have to wake up early to literally drag myself to the office and put on a mask, like everybody else.

i woke up late in the morning to visit the doctor, studied my japanese language, which were pretty easy in my opinion, and felt extremely bored.  decided to finally hit the gym nearby, starting off with the thread mill.  i felt so refreshed after the whole gym session.

attended my make-up japanese lessons. kind of envy this class - active, chatty, united, a big difference from my current class. the exam was a breeze.

while on the mrt, i felt very sianz that i have to return to work the following day. i am absolutely clueless as to what to do next. like i mentioned before, i know the outcomes and do not wish to trod the dreaded path again.  a friend told me that i should learn to trust people, but i simply cannot take the huge leap of faith. either way the friendships will eventually dissolve.

i was scrolling my msn list, and realized that i had let go of a few really good friends. i sort of miss them, but what's done cannot be undone.  it is disheartening that i may have to repeat this process again.

i feel trapped... i need an escape. god, why do YOU always give me something only to take it all back later?