post-trip melancholy

i am completely flabbergasted by the recent turn of events during the weekend trip to bangkok with a group of friends. it started off fun and interesting enough, but eventually due to reasons and factors beyond my comprehension, it ended in bitterness and unhappiness among all of us.

this was one of my shortest trip ever, with the biggest traveling party, and due to some random incidents, it was sad that the party of six split into two separate groups during the second half of the trip.  One of the guys started giving us troubles and with all his tantrums, really turned me off during the trip, so much that i did not really wish to talk to him at all.

honestly speaking i was surprised to receive a "breakup" sms from him. i simply have no idea why he was reacting this way.  if he feels that people who care for him are supposed to always cajole and pacify him whenever he throws a temper fit or embarassing tantrums like a child then i really find him immature and childish.

i learnt quite a lot from this trip, and unfortunately, lose a good friend.  this friend used to be very dear to me, but the last few months i'm really exhausted - it had became a one-way friendship and i felt that i was always taken for granted, and i had had to put up and give in a lot.

thinking back, this friendship was fraught with difficulties right from the start.  it's as if circumstances around us are trying to make us dissolve this friendship.  it's a miracle i stayed on for so long.

i cried when i received the sms, partly also because i cannot bear to see this friend of mine go wasted like this.  i have never been so close to anyone for a long time.  removing his stubborn immaturity and emotional instability, he could have been a great person, not just as a friend.  he has many attributes i wished to have, but alas... so to all parents out there, can please teach and groom your child properly?  if not, please don't bring any children into this world, thank you!

i never seek to become too close to anyone...i am scared, for i feel very strongly for my close friends, of such endings.  this time i am deeply hurt again.  god, why do u allow me to be hurt again and again? why did you not answer my prayers and help my friend?