今天是某一位好友的生日。为了庆祝这位好友的生日，昨晚就为他搞了一个自觉得有些隆重的生日宴，送给了他由我精挑细选的昂贵皮包，今天也会请他去看一场舞台剧。花了这么多钱，我简直就是心如刀割，不过毕竟也是相识了快六年的好友，由相识转为水火不容，再转为好友，交情非浅，也许这些钱也算不了什么。今天早上，收到了这位好友的短讯感谢我说他非常喜欢那皮包，不禁有些欣慰。喜欢就好。
似乎遥远又正来临的十一月的某一天，是我的生日。每个人庆祝生日的方式不同，而我，随着年纪愈大生日越感受不到快乐。生日的喜悦再也无法像孩童般地由一个装饰华丽的蛋糕所获得了。对我而言，生日也只不过是长大后所联系起来的人际关系的祝贺活动而已。生日也似乎成了时间表，让我期许自己未达成的目标能够在下一个生日完成，渐渐地，生日也似乎没什么意义可言。
儿时想法真简单奇怪。小时总是不明白自己为什么没有华丽的生日蛋糕，埋怨着没有像其他朋友般搞生日宴，接受很多很多的礼物。也许那样是一件好事，因为虽然朋友众多，却属缘淡。长大后才发现原来自己最想庆祝生日的方式莫过于和父母或身边最亲的朋友一起吃顿便饭、游玩，不需要大费周章地庆祝，不需要华丽的蛋糕，更不需要什么昂贵的礼物。可以在我生日里一同庆祝的人，往往是我生命里最举足轻重的人物。
前两年是我人生里过得最开心的生日。虽然我的生日愿望是每年都如那两年般同样的快乐不变，不过时过境迁，愿望再也不能实现了。
我祝我这位好友生日快乐。
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
A year has passed...
How time flies...it has been a year since I have last updated this blog of mine. Throughout the fulfilling year, I was kept busy actively pursuing my own personal goals and interests. At the same time, I have made many many memorable travel trips during this period, averaging almost an overseas trip every month.
To date, I have made the following visits:
July 2011:
Bangkok, Thailand
August 2011:
Bangkok and ChiangMai, Thailand
Batam, Indonesia
September 2011:
Genting Highlands, Peninsular Malaysia (Partially sponsored)
November 2011:
Seoul, South Korea (Sponsored leisure trip by Company)
December 2011:
Batam, Indonesia (Christmas Celebration)
January 2012:
Brunei Darussalam (Chinese New Year)
February 2012:
Genting Highlands, Malaysia(Partially sponsored)
Geneva, Switzerland (5-day work trip)
April 2012:
Osaka, Japan including the Japanese cities (Kansai region) of Himeji, Kobe, Kyoto and Nara
May 2012:
Batam, Indonesia
June 2012:
Geneva, Switzerland (25-day work trip) including the Swiss cities of Bern, Gruyeres, Interlaken, Lausanne and Lucerne
Batam, Indonesia
July 2012:
Hong Kong S.A.R. (Solo trip)
Macau S.A.R. (Solo trip)
For future blog posts I may be switching to Chinese as I find it easier to express myself in the language, and that I hope that I can further improve my Chinese language.
To date, I have made the following visits:
July 2011:
Bangkok, Thailand
August 2011:
Bangkok and ChiangMai, Thailand
Batam, Indonesia
September 2011:
Genting Highlands, Peninsular Malaysia (Partially sponsored)
November 2011:
Seoul, South Korea (Sponsored leisure trip by Company)
December 2011:
Batam, Indonesia (Christmas Celebration)
January 2012:
Brunei Darussalam (Chinese New Year)
February 2012:
Genting Highlands, Malaysia(Partially sponsored)
Geneva, Switzerland (5-day work trip)
April 2012:
Osaka, Japan including the Japanese cities (Kansai region) of Himeji, Kobe, Kyoto and Nara
May 2012:
Batam, Indonesia
June 2012:
Geneva, Switzerland (25-day work trip) including the Swiss cities of Bern, Gruyeres, Interlaken, Lausanne and Lucerne
Batam, Indonesia
July 2012:
Hong Kong S.A.R. (Solo trip)
Macau S.A.R. (Solo trip)
For future blog posts I may be switching to Chinese as I find it easier to express myself in the language, and that I hope that I can further improve my Chinese language.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
reconciliation
everything seemed to have smoothen themselves out this week. it's a sudden twist of events that the friendship was salvaged, and we seemed closer than before :)
anyway work has been fulfilling. it's my first week fronting the support calls from London and i have managed to solve most of their issues without much external help. I hope to gain more experiences in subsequent challenging projects, and eventually aim for a lead or management position, which inevitably, leads to a wage hike. i need to work harder and move faster than others because i wasted some previous time in my ex-company, which resulted in stagnation of my pay. Most of my peers are now far ahead, and i wish to rejoin them in the proper ranks.
anyway work has been fulfilling. it's my first week fronting the support calls from London and i have managed to solve most of their issues without much external help. I hope to gain more experiences in subsequent challenging projects, and eventually aim for a lead or management position, which inevitably, leads to a wage hike. i need to work harder and move faster than others because i wasted some previous time in my ex-company, which resulted in stagnation of my pay. Most of my peers are now far ahead, and i wish to rejoin them in the proper ranks.
Monday, July 18, 2011
post-trip melancholy
i am completely flabbergasted by the recent turn of events during the weekend trip to bangkok with a group of friends. it started off fun and interesting enough, but eventually due to reasons and factors beyond my comprehension, it ended in bitterness and unhappiness among all of us.
this was one of my shortest trip ever, with the biggest traveling party, and due to some random incidents, it was sad that the party of six split into two separate groups during the second half of the trip. One of the guys started giving us troubles and with all his tantrums, really turned me off during the trip, so much that i did not really wish to talk to him at all.
honestly speaking i was surprised to receive a "breakup" sms from him. i simply have no idea why he was reacting this way. if he feels that people who care for him are supposed to always cajole and pacify him whenever he throws a temper fit or embarassing tantrums like a child then i really find him immature and childish.
i learnt quite a lot from this trip, and unfortunately, lose a good friend. this friend used to be very dear to me, but the last few months i'm really exhausted - it had became a one-way friendship and i felt that i was always taken for granted, and i had had to put up and give in a lot.
thinking back, this friendship was fraught with difficulties right from the start. it's as if circumstances around us are trying to make us dissolve this friendship. it's a miracle i stayed on for so long.
i cried when i received the sms, partly also because i cannot bear to see this friend of mine go wasted like this. i have never been so close to anyone for a long time. removing his stubborn immaturity and emotional instability, he could have been a great person, not just as a friend. he has many attributes i wished to have, but alas... so to all parents out there, can please teach and groom your child properly? if not, please don't bring any children into this world, thank you!
i never seek to become too close to anyone...i am scared, for i feel very strongly for my close friends, of such endings. this time i am deeply hurt again. god, why do u allow me to be hurt again and again? why did you not answer my prayers and help my friend?
this was one of my shortest trip ever, with the biggest traveling party, and due to some random incidents, it was sad that the party of six split into two separate groups during the second half of the trip. One of the guys started giving us troubles and with all his tantrums, really turned me off during the trip, so much that i did not really wish to talk to him at all.
honestly speaking i was surprised to receive a "breakup" sms from him. i simply have no idea why he was reacting this way. if he feels that people who care for him are supposed to always cajole and pacify him whenever he throws a temper fit or embarassing tantrums like a child then i really find him immature and childish.
i learnt quite a lot from this trip, and unfortunately, lose a good friend. this friend used to be very dear to me, but the last few months i'm really exhausted - it had became a one-way friendship and i felt that i was always taken for granted, and i had had to put up and give in a lot.
thinking back, this friendship was fraught with difficulties right from the start. it's as if circumstances around us are trying to make us dissolve this friendship. it's a miracle i stayed on for so long.
i cried when i received the sms, partly also because i cannot bear to see this friend of mine go wasted like this. i have never been so close to anyone for a long time. removing his stubborn immaturity and emotional instability, he could have been a great person, not just as a friend. he has many attributes i wished to have, but alas... so to all parents out there, can please teach and groom your child properly? if not, please don't bring any children into this world, thank you!
i never seek to become too close to anyone...i am scared, for i feel very strongly for my close friends, of such endings. this time i am deeply hurt again. god, why do u allow me to be hurt again and again? why did you not answer my prayers and help my friend?
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
午时感想
每当我觉得自己运气开始好转的时候，事实往往都会转逆。财政方面如此，事业也如此，人缘也如此。自小就不觉得运气会特别关照自己，即使好事偶然发生在我身上，事情总会变质，以不愉快为收场。
上星期五的公司家庭日里，是我人生里第一次在幸运抽奖里头赢了大奖 - “豪华汉城旅游配套”。那时的心情是又惊讶又开心但也同时有些失落，毕竟我对韩国并没有什么特别大的兴趣。相反的我妈比我还要兴奋。后来决定与家人一同赴韩游玩，才发现或许要和另外得到这份配套的两位同事一同出发。我渐渐对这份本来没什么兴趣的配套更是没兴趣了。
我向来觉得同事不该把朋友般相待。前公司的遭遇也让我坚持守着这个原则。近来，我觉得自己开始违反了这所谓的原则，竟和两位同事开始为伍。
记得在某一个早晨，竟然下了一场倾盆大雨，让我无法抵达公司。突然，有位同事竟拨电给我，问我究竟在哪里，不一会儿他就说他上了一辆的士，绕路把我给接载去公司了，并没向我要车费。第二天傍晚，当几乎全公司上下都为前赴其中一位经理的婚宴而安排顺风车的同时，我和这位同事选择乘搭公共交通。车程中，彼此也开始健谈了起来。不知道聊到什么话题，他问了我一些关于把他当朋友之类的事，我沉重的告诉他，世事难料，今天或许我们做得了好朋友，可能几周后会不理不睬，甚至反目成仇。
这答案反映了我对人际关系缺乏信心，有所保留。经过这么多年的人情冷暖和伤痕累累，我累了。心里早已把自己与外界的复杂种种隔离。近来也比较想当宅男，一半是为了省钱，另一半可是因为近来出现的人素质不高，来来去去都是那几种PATTERN，有时甚至还要当上他们的保姆，实在让人疲惫不堪。既然时不与我，唯有让自己好好休息。
我决定把所有精力投向工作，不让自己有多余时间去想别的事情，把近来的烦恼和今年不开心的事全置之脑后，同时希望在这两三年以内，可以让自己有能力供养一辆车子。现在这份工作有出国的机会，我希望可以借机离开一下，到国外散散心，学习新事物扩充视野。现在正在忙的一项欧洲PROJECT，虽然把我的工作时间颠倒了，但或许月底能让我去一趟伦敦，我认为也是值得。
上星期五的公司家庭日里，是我人生里第一次在幸运抽奖里头赢了大奖 - “豪华汉城旅游配套”。那时的心情是又惊讶又开心但也同时有些失落，毕竟我对韩国并没有什么特别大的兴趣。相反的我妈比我还要兴奋。后来决定与家人一同赴韩游玩，才发现或许要和另外得到这份配套的两位同事一同出发。我渐渐对这份本来没什么兴趣的配套更是没兴趣了。
我向来觉得同事不该把朋友般相待。前公司的遭遇也让我坚持守着这个原则。近来，我觉得自己开始违反了这所谓的原则，竟和两位同事开始为伍。
记得在某一个早晨，竟然下了一场倾盆大雨，让我无法抵达公司。突然，有位同事竟拨电给我，问我究竟在哪里，不一会儿他就说他上了一辆的士，绕路把我给接载去公司了，并没向我要车费。第二天傍晚，当几乎全公司上下都为前赴其中一位经理的婚宴而安排顺风车的同时，我和这位同事选择乘搭公共交通。车程中，彼此也开始健谈了起来。不知道聊到什么话题，他问了我一些关于把他当朋友之类的事，我沉重的告诉他，世事难料，今天或许我们做得了好朋友，可能几周后会不理不睬，甚至反目成仇。
这答案反映了我对人际关系缺乏信心，有所保留。经过这么多年的人情冷暖和伤痕累累，我累了。心里早已把自己与外界的复杂种种隔离。近来也比较想当宅男，一半是为了省钱，另一半可是因为近来出现的人素质不高，来来去去都是那几种PATTERN，有时甚至还要当上他们的保姆，实在让人疲惫不堪。既然时不与我，唯有让自己好好休息。
我决定把所有精力投向工作，不让自己有多余时间去想别的事情，把近来的烦恼和今年不开心的事全置之脑后，同时希望在这两三年以内，可以让自己有能力供养一辆车子。现在这份工作有出国的机会，我希望可以借机离开一下，到国外散散心，学习新事物扩充视野。现在正在忙的一项欧洲PROJECT，虽然把我的工作时间颠倒了，但或许月底能让我去一趟伦敦，我认为也是值得。
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
当时的月光
while walking home from bishan mrt earlier, i remembered an excerpt from this book i read some time ago - 一路上有你真好, a book i had since my secondary school days, which resonates well with my inner self:
时间改变了、关系也改变了，月亮仍放射它的光芒，引领夜归人踏上旅途。只是当时的月光已不复以往的的记忆，有欢笑，有雀跃，也有依靠。如今，我只能自己独自的勾勒当年月光的轮廓。
走向黑夜深处，走过寂寞的小巷，陪我走的仍是月亮。
时间改变了、关系也改变了，月亮仍放射它的光芒，引领夜归人踏上旅途。只是当时的月光已不复以往的的记忆，有欢笑，有雀跃，也有依靠。如今，我只能自己独自的勾勒当年月光的轮廓。
走向黑夜深处，走过寂寞的小巷，陪我走的仍是月亮。
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
the missing period - reminiscence
i have finally decided to resume my blogging as i have more free time on my hands recently.
for as long as i have gone missing in action, many things have happened in my life. frankly speaking, more bad things have happened that good ones.
looking back, the subsequent two months after my return from the china trip were the happiest times in my life, and i thought i had my prayers answered but, well, happy times dun last. at least this is a fact i need to get used to in my life. though i am trying my best to try for miracles until this very day, as my sentiments have never changed, i guess, chances could be very slim. is this what the chinese like to say - 有缘无份?
anyway, i have shifted to bishan for quite some time. i'd say bishan is a decent location to stay in. it is centralized and getting to most parts of the island seems less of a hassle. by a stroke of luck, i managed to get a decently priced room with very good landlords :)
2010 came and go, and with the advent of 2011, things went downhill. i hate this year as soon as it arrived. many things were all happening all at once that i almost couldn't cope. i couldn't focus much on my work, and, with the closing of march, i had a switch of job, into something of a different realm altogether.
with this new job, i put in plenty of effort so as to keep my mind occupied, and also partially because i find this new job scope interesting. anyway i feel that my efforts have bear some fruits and was appreciated and recognized. overall i find working in this current company much more pleasant and enjoyable with decently good bosses. well, decently good bosses are a rarity nowadays!
anyway, july will be a busy month for me. i'll be working on a european project and my working hours would then start from 3pm. i will be visiting bangkok with a group of friends for leisure in mid-july, after which i may have to fly over to london to attend to the project. right after the national day in august, i'll be flying to bangkok again with my poly classmate, this time to visit some thai friends and we intend to hop over to chiang mai.
that sums it all up, my m.i.a period.
for as long as i have gone missing in action, many things have happened in my life. frankly speaking, more bad things have happened that good ones.
looking back, the subsequent two months after my return from the china trip were the happiest times in my life, and i thought i had my prayers answered but, well, happy times dun last. at least this is a fact i need to get used to in my life. though i am trying my best to try for miracles until this very day, as my sentiments have never changed, i guess, chances could be very slim. is this what the chinese like to say - 有缘无份?
anyway, i have shifted to bishan for quite some time. i'd say bishan is a decent location to stay in. it is centralized and getting to most parts of the island seems less of a hassle. by a stroke of luck, i managed to get a decently priced room with very good landlords :)
2010 came and go, and with the advent of 2011, things went downhill. i hate this year as soon as it arrived. many things were all happening all at once that i almost couldn't cope. i couldn't focus much on my work, and, with the closing of march, i had a switch of job, into something of a different realm altogether.
with this new job, i put in plenty of effort so as to keep my mind occupied, and also partially because i find this new job scope interesting. anyway i feel that my efforts have bear some fruits and was appreciated and recognized. overall i find working in this current company much more pleasant and enjoyable with decently good bosses. well, decently good bosses are a rarity nowadays!
anyway, july will be a busy month for me. i'll be working on a european project and my working hours would then start from 3pm. i will be visiting bangkok with a group of friends for leisure in mid-july, after which i may have to fly over to london to attend to the project. right after the national day in august, i'll be flying to bangkok again with my poly classmate, this time to visit some thai friends and we intend to hop over to chiang mai.
that sums it all up, my m.i.a period.
Friday, October 8, 2010
holiday again
i'll be going to shanghai and nanjing on a family trip in a few hours' time.... feels so excited!
thanks for all the encouragements.
thanks for all the encouragements.
Monday, September 27, 2010
monday night rant
felt so tired after returning from a long day the client site. first none of us had internet access. tat was like a definite boring day for me. plus, i didn't have enough sleep the previous night.
things could not have been worse when i made a mistake interpreting one of the requirements. horrendous mistake. worse still, i felt that the project manager was purposely picking on me, crushing our already near rock-bottom morales. at the end of the day everyone got to work overtime.
haiz. nothing seems to go well since late august.
things could not have been worse when i made a mistake interpreting one of the requirements. horrendous mistake. worse still, i felt that the project manager was purposely picking on me, crushing our already near rock-bottom morales. at the end of the day everyone got to work overtime.
haiz. nothing seems to go well since late august.
Friday, September 24, 2010
on interesting colleagues
i do realized that i have interesting colleagues around me.
lately despite being piled with more workload, i ended up having more freedom to do some socializing and networking within the company. i mended a few neglected ties and came to the realizations that once i was out of my prejudices and dilemma, there is a whole forest out there, filled with plenty of interesting people.
for example, i realized that some colleagues whom once u get closer to them, brought plenty of subtle joys and laughters, and once in a while we had really great dinners and shared a lot about ourselves. 2 of my colleagues, surprisingly, turned out to be great confidantes and had given me great advices every now and then =)
some colleagues didn't really match up to expectations, but it doesn't matter. maybe i have set the bar too high. there are also colleagues whom i would prefer to keep a distance away from, due to conflict of interests and personalities. overall, the office environment is now more tolerable.
once again i can't help but noticed the compatibility of horoscope signs. the rules will never change, and i probably have to play my cards differently as i shift myself around groups, and in the process, learn more about myself and others as well as the latest news within the company.
it's time to explore the forest. finally, i am back to my original self once again, and will maintain my philosophy - be trusting till it's broken once!
lately despite being piled with more workload, i ended up having more freedom to do some socializing and networking within the company. i mended a few neglected ties and came to the realizations that once i was out of my prejudices and dilemma, there is a whole forest out there, filled with plenty of interesting people.
for example, i realized that some colleagues whom once u get closer to them, brought plenty of subtle joys and laughters, and once in a while we had really great dinners and shared a lot about ourselves. 2 of my colleagues, surprisingly, turned out to be great confidantes and had given me great advices every now and then =)
some colleagues didn't really match up to expectations, but it doesn't matter. maybe i have set the bar too high. there are also colleagues whom i would prefer to keep a distance away from, due to conflict of interests and personalities. overall, the office environment is now more tolerable.
once again i can't help but noticed the compatibility of horoscope signs. the rules will never change, and i probably have to play my cards differently as i shift myself around groups, and in the process, learn more about myself and others as well as the latest news within the company.
it's time to explore the forest. finally, i am back to my original self once again, and will maintain my philosophy - be trusting till it's broken once!
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